New Year "Car" resolutions

 

“Yeah….right….why should I make another set of resolutions I have no intention of  keeping. Or, maybe it’s not the “intention” that is the problem. Maybe it’s my will-power”. I don’t know about you, but that statement definitely applies to me. “Will-power” is the bigger of the two issues.  
 
When it comes to your vehicle—what you drive, what you vacation in, what your children and grandchildren rely on for safe, reliable transportation and also what you enjoy just owning and seeing in your driveway every morning---it’s time to make a few Car resolutions—below are a few suggestions in letter form:
 
Dear Car,
 
I hereby make the following resolutions with regards to your care:
 
1.  I will faithfully change your oil when I am supposed to, and will keep good records, demonstrating my respect for your engine and all of those cute, friction-hating, moving parts within.

2.  I will faithfully check the air in your tires every month so that you will handle like a dream and not prematurely wear out the edges of your expensive, rubber “shoes” (maybe you can help by not leaking out an average of 2 PSI per month—I’m just sayin….)

3. I will keep the front floor board clear of bags, pocketbooks, bulky floor mats, Frisbees and any other items that may cause me to smash your pretty face through the back of my garage due to “unintended acceleration” caused by human negligence (that’s me)

4. I will wash you every month. Yes, I wanted a light brown car so the dirt wouldn’t show (not that you look like dirt), but I realize that was a cop-out. Your finish deserves to be clean and shiny (and it won’t hurt your resale value either—although that does sound a little self-serving…sorry)

5. I will no longer use your truck as a mini-storage facility. I will use a real mini-storage facility to keep all of the junk I don’t really need. I realize this “stuff” adds to your weight, and hurts your gas mileage--which I, in turn, blame on you—that’s just not fair, and I’m going to change my hoarding ways.

6.     I am going to clean your windows once a month. I know that helps me more than it helps you because you can’t “see” how filthy they really are. I can’t unless it’s dark outside, and then I have to grab whatever is handy to smear a hole that I can see through—last time I used my jacket sleeve but nearly ran off the road in the effort to see better—how ironic

7. Finally, and since my insurance company is going to cancel me if I do otherwise, I’m not going to send TEXT messages, read TEXT messages, dial phone numbers or engage in long, drawn out  confabs or diatribes with my friends and relatives on my CELL PHONE. When I am hurtling your two-ton mass down the road at 65 miles per hour, driving you deserves 99.9% of my focus and attention.  Plus, I owe that “focus” to the other cell-phone abusers I yell at every day.
 
Well, that’s a good way to start the new year. Don’t you feel liberated now? Truth is, we do need to take better care of our cars, take better care of ourselves and appreciate the gift of another new year.
Categories: News